To celebrate Christmas, NORAD tracks Santa.
There are various apocryphal stories about how this came to be, but however it started, the United States military presents NORAD’s Santa Tracker as a fun, celebratory way to do some public outreach for Christian American families. And media organizations in the US go along credulously; at my hotel breakfast I saw The Today Show put up clips from the NORAD Santa Tracker on their broadcast this past Christmas morning.
But I find the NORAD Santa Tracker to be extremely dark, emblematic of US military groupthink failures and fatalistic shoulder-shrugging on the part of the US media and public. It’s like a Christmas morning broadcast of Doctor Strangelove, accompanied by the reminder that US nuclear strategy learned absolutely no lessons from either scientific findings or the entire Cold War.
Why? Well, NORAD — or the North American Aerospace Defense Command — is a US military organization responsible for quickly identifying intrusions into north American airspace. Its specific focus is on strategic bombers and missiles — the delivery systems for nuclear warheads.
What is supposed to happen when NORAD identifies a high speed object entering North American airspace? NORAD reports to the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, so notification would immediately reach the highest levels of the US military. These people would then have to sort out wither the incoming object represents a threat to American nuclear command and control systems. Under the utterly insane and self-destructive Cold War nuclear doctrines that still hold today, if there’s an attack incoming that has the potential to disrupt US command and control, the US should respond with a full-scale nuclear retaliation against the aggressor — probably assumed to be Russia and China. So if, say, the object was heading on from the coasts towards the central Mountain region of the United States, that might qualify. Given developments in hypersonic missiles that can change course to evade air defenses, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs might have to assume that the weapons’ intended target is located far from its projected ballistic course. In other words, even if the incoming object is headed for the middle of the Nevada desert when detected, they might have to assume it could angle itself over to Cheyenne Mountain at the last moment.
NORAD has, in the past, accidentally left training simulations active in their computers, triggering this alert process.
The Chairman is supposed to check with one person before launching a planet-annihilating attack on the USSR: the President of the United States. It sure is fortunate for any humans living on Earth that the President is always someone reticent to activate nuclear weapons for any purpose and who has a serious regard for the safeguards preventing their use. Even if deployed in a so-called “limited” nuclear exchange — a few dozen warheads exploded out of the roughly 12,000 that exist — the ensuing nuclear winter would result in globally existential famines, potentially toppling the governments of even the “winner.” In other words, mutually assured destruction is practically baked in to anyone’s use of nuclear weapons — no retaliation required.
The bottom line is, according to current US nuclear doctrines, if NORAD actually detected Santa, life as we know it on Earth would end. Sleep tight on Christmas Eve, kids.
This is what the NORAD Santa Tracker represents to me: the US military cavalierly joking about an existential threat to myself, my family, my community, my people, and my country. And nobody in the US defense complex, civilian leadership, or media is interested in talking about eliminating that clear and present danger.